Horny for Hot Dogs & Hamburgers

So out of  my starvation and brokeness comes inspiration. These are the first two of a few pieces I’m working on that have hot dogs and burgers on them. They are 16″ x 20″ mixed media on cardboard. The base of everything is made up of tranny and regular (female organs on a female) escorts from Oregon. They actually came from a few packages I ordered from Bwana Spoons, he padded my goods with smutty pages of his local paper! The whole thing worked out pretty well because a hot dog and hamburger are essentially a penis and a vagina which of course are the two flavors offered by the escort adds (sure, you can order that hot dog with tits)

horny-hotdog-burger

Check them out here or Continue reading “Horny for Hot Dogs & Hamburgers”

Kudos wordpress app

Really digging the ability to go horizontal and also very stoked to able to moderate and edit comments! As well as pages. Again WordPress comes though like the champ it is. If I weren’t so broke I’d give 10 bux but since I AM totally broke I will just say that right now I’m totally horny for WordPress. Giggity.

It’s Funny Cuz It’s True

This commercial kills me every time I see it. I never made my mom cry… but I have associated with horrible stoner characters from this commercial at some point in time in my life. Abovetheinfluence.com ads have always been good though. My favorite is the last guy who is all stoked he ditched his friends and let them find their own way home.

Wild Turkey 101

Ahh the old savage turkey juice, I know, i know long time no whiskey. I have been drinking Weller 90 for the past 6 bottles. Oddly enough over the course of the past year I have only enjoyed one bottling of the Wild Turkey, Russel’s Reserve. It was okay but I never got around to trying any other bottles. My dad and his friends used to take this stuff down with cokes back in the day so when I need to break a twenty bill last night and picked up a small bottle of WT101. It was good and reminded me of the Russel’s Reserve but it tasted more oaky and a little less corny. I actually enjoyed it a bit more than the RR.

I bought a small 200 ml bottle and I decided it’s good enough to drink right out of the bottle (never done that before) it’s a nice change from the Weller. Either way it’s good whiskey, I always sort of shunned it as it’s not too rare and you can pick it up at any convenient/drug store. But now I’ll be sure to get a bottle when ever I see some on sale (cuz I’m a cheap fuxxer these days ~ Alas the old lady is getting ever so close to landing a paying gig) one of my favorite parts of drinking bourbon is the little stories the write up for the labels. They all say great things like hand-crafted and age old tradition. I found the Wild Turkey story to be extra awesome:

“The famous name on this bottle comes from a group of wild turkey hunters, one of whom brought a special 101 proof barrel-aged bourbon on their annual hunting trip. In the later years they always requested ‘that Wild Turkey bourbon‘ and to this day it is still hand-crafted in the same slow traditional way.”

This bourbon is much like that story. It is short and sweet (not too sweet) but gets right to the point (drunk) with that 101 punch. Enjoy neat.

Wild Turkey 101

WP to Twitter

Pretty awesome if it works like it’s supposed to… and… it does! Pretty awesome stuff. Go plugin developers, WordPress is the best.

Gearing up for a few changes

Added some feedburner action so my blog can be like everyone elses. Checking it out now. I never realized feedburner was recently aquired by Google. Edit all appears to have worked fine thanks to this fine plugin. Also am trying to simplify sidebar so I created a link garden above the footer that now houses archives, links and categories.

Bon Jovi Friday!

OH SNAPS! Although I will not be getting payed I will not be working tomorrow leaving me with ultimate drinkage for this evening. I also will not be working (unpaid) the following Monday. Nothing like two unpaid days off to wrench my check book.

Anyways my brokeness will not stop me from enjoying my Bon Jovi Friday. I have bourbon and my couch and my girlfriend (getting her work on!) and I began painting! Life is good, at least I will keep telling myself that all day today.

Just stab me now

So I open my inbox and all I can do is sit a little pissed off at my screen and say doooooooooooood. It was a pre-order for this absurd vinyl madness (Shikaruna Dorol) that I wish I could afford (Damn you Xty!!..j/k..seriously tho…hhaha..no) I’ve seen em around on the message boards and stuff but I haven’t even been lurking that much so I’m some what out of the loop. I just know this thing is pretty rad and I wish I could get in on this pre-order action. Mo photos after the read more, courtesy lulubell toy bodega

Dorol
Continue reading “Just stab me now”

Mishka Springness

Mishka, they got some goods for spring 09. I was looking forward to the lamour collab in full color but it does not appear to be available yet(?) I found these two items to be particularly awesome. First item is a keep watch shirt in a nice blue, that shit just pops real proper like. The second is a bad ass belt, it is quite pricey but a must have because it looks like my website.

Keep Watch Sucka

Creautre Color Belt

Re: I Miss My Maple

So through some freak accident of the Cosmos my trusty knife that I bring everywhere with me lately fell between the couch cushions. Only it didn’t fall between two regular couch cushions, it actually fell in between the one next to the recliner. So it got stuck in the mechanism of the recliner and I had to go underneath the couch with the foot rest up and jab a larger knife at my pocket knife until it wiggled free and fell. Upon it falling I began looking under the couch but it was still not there? I again got under the couch only I really got deep in there this time and I realized there is cloth under the recliner and that cloth had my knife, it also had a nice pen, some change, an almond and what else? Holiest of all holy shit… MY MAPLE PLUGS!

It felt so good as I already admitted defeat and assumed I accidentally knocked them over into my trash since they were just gone. But alas they were in my couch and after a quickie wipe down are back in my ultra happy ear lobes. So yeah… maple plugs = happy lobes.

Maple!

Recycle Bin Pimpin

So for a while now the trash guys have not been taking our recycling and for about as long my girlfriend has been with out a job (but ironicly with a Master’s Degree) So rather than let the grumpy alley trolls that scavenge through my complex’s recyclables I decided I would keep all that crap in my house until I could no longer stand the site of it and go cash in. I haven’t actually recycled for cash since I was a Webelo and the little money I did collect went straight to McDonald’s I’m sure. I by the way was an amazingly good Boy Scout, I dressed sharp and believed every word of it until I noticed I was the only one. As I was saying though with my girlfriend being jobless the prospect of extra money for trash in my house seemed like a good trade off. To be honest I was hoping I would get enough to fund a Kool Keith ticket I got the shaft on because I had to pay rent and had only $19 in my checking account but at the same time I was ready to leave the spot with a $5.

So how did it go you say? It went okay I guess I got a “good for ghetto groceries at Pancho” or a “quick half tank of petro” $12.64. I gathered about 53 lbs of mixed glass (my Bourbon bottles are heavy as balls and Xty drinks so much American Ale you’d swear we won some lawsuit where Anheiser Busch paid us off in brew) Here’s a pic of the load that filled the trunk of my civic.

recycling $12 load

Dear Clients…

Please please please stop pasting into your WordPress and Drupal sites straight from MS Word without converting to plain text first! There is nothing I love more than going to see a clients sites in use only to be blown away by hideous font action that has nothing to do with my theme styling. I check out the code view and what do you know? Tons superfluous in-line MS Word styling.

Sometimes if I am not busy I actually go in and clean it all up. Leading to strange questions like “why do my fonts keep changing?” I take that opportunity to re-introduce them (sometimes for the third or fourth time) to the paste as plain text function in their WYSIWYG editor. I also encourage them to write directly into their CMS’ and save as drafts or keep them un-published until ready to go live rather than writing entries in word and just pasting them in.

So please help your site stay pretty and always press that paste as plain text button BEFORE you paste from MS Word. It is one extra click but don’t be lazy.